where_she_walks_ with joy
It's time to acknowledge the happiness that walking brings.
Glancing at the list of ‘thoughts I’ve pondered’ for this section of Substack, I realised that despite covering two of the most poignant and sad topics of all - grief and stress - for the most part I’ve shared the positives of walking - gratitude, strength, creativity, confidence and independence. These are still relatively weighty, burdensome themes, though, and it strikes me that not every walk has to be so heavy. Sometimes it’s nice to walk and feel nothing but pure joy! So that’s what I’m going to share today.
I’ll be honest (as always), the word joy probably doesn’t feature that much in my vocabulary. It’s not a word I often use to describe how I feel, which is a strange thing to realise and admit. I don’t think I’m a pessimistic person but I’m probably not very optimistic either. I consider myself a realist, someone who accepts that life isn’t as glossy and glorious as it’s portrayed on social media, there isn’t a ‘happily ever after’ for most people and that life is what we make it, good and bad. On that note (hopefully not too depressing) I’m quite aware of the moments when I feel complete happiness, which I would describe as moments of peace and calm, as oppose to ‘joy’.
In an effort to better understand when I felt joy on the Pennine Way, I’ve gone back through my photos to jog my memory. Here are a few where I look joyous…
The photo on the left it’s day three, my first day walking solo after my partner bailed in Diggle. I was happy, yes, joyous, not so much. I was actually very sun burnt as you can see, I was in a fair amount of pain and I was nervous about the days ahead. In the middle photo I look even happier, but this was towards the end of day five, walking through Airton on the way to Malham. It was beautiful and the smile is genuine, but it’s hiding the relief of having survived a day spent avoiding cows! And the photo on the right is from day ten, the day when I had to stop walking. Not ten minutes before I’d been crying in pain, checking the map to see where I was - half way between Middleton-in-Teesdale and Dufton - with zero phone signal to let anyone know how bad I felt. I had no choice but to keep going and in minutes was faced with Cauldron Snout, a powerful waterfall which made the Pennine Way slippery and dangerous. Despite the smile I’m not fooling anyone, there was fear, pain and exhaustion behind those glasses.
In reality, if I try to find the photos that show real joy, there aren’t any. Because in those moments I wasn’t thinking about posting on social media or letting my family know I was OK. I was walking. Walking without a care in the world, with a clear head and a happy body (mostly). I found joy in being free from work and the everyday responsibilities of life. I found joy in only having to think about simple things like food and sleep. I found joy in simply putting one foot in front of the other. Oh, and I found joy in a bookshop in Bellingham because, well, I like books!
Thoughts on joy
Having given the concept of joy some thought, I’ve reached the conclusion that it’s not as big a word as I first thought. It doesn’t have to be overtly shown through big smiles and it doesn’t always come from huge adventures. For me, joy can be found in a good book, great food, time spent alone as well as time with family and friends. Even reading that sentence, it’s clear that joy for me is a gentle feeling, which means I don’t need to go searching for it, but just acknowledge it when it happens.
Happy walking!
Kate x
Loved this one Kate - indeed happiness and joy looks and feels different for different people and can be triggered by different things. Really enJOYed today's ready :-)